Unneccessary Stress, Excessive Sweating, and Answered Prayers

Sometime during this trip, Naomi, Carol, Greg and I traded travel horror stories. When my turn came, I realized that I didn't have any horrific stories to share. But of course, as luck would have it, I was just a little early. My story materialized when it came time for me to come home to Seattle. But instead of using my regular paragraph style narrative, I thought I would use a different approach to share what has become my travel horror story. And like all good stories, there is a happy ending. So here it goes.

AR= Argentina Time, E/PST= Eastern/Pacific Standard Time. AR is 5 hours ahead of PST.

5:45 AM AR: Wake Up on the Orlova
8:00 AM AR: Disembark the ship to head to the airport. Quark was unable to confirm my ticket over the phone, so I need to do it in person. Also, apparently I am listed on the 11:20 AM flight, not my purchased 2:05 PM flight.
8:45 AM AR: Get to the airport and wait in line for the ticket counter. Once at the counter, I received good and bad news. The good: I am checked in for my original 2:05 PM flight. The bad: Not only is my luggage overweight (aka pay a fine), but I need to check my backpack as well. Note my backpack contains fragile, non-checkable items, such as my laptop. To "remedy" this, the ticket counter guy gives me a plastic bag, and tells me to put my breakable items in it to carry on the plane. The now empty backpack is then checked. To recap: checked 2 overweight bags and 1 empty backpack. Carrying on- 1 camera bag and 1 plastic bag of computer gear and fragile gifts. Questions arise: 1) How come none of this was a problem coming down to Ushuaia? 2) Why couldn't I keep my backpack if they are going to give me a plastic bag to carry on anyway?

9:30 AM AR: I've paid my overweight luggage fine and my airport exit tax. I head back to Ushuaia to kill some time, get a tshirt, and meet friends for lunch before coming back to the airport.

2:05 PM AR: Depart Ushuaia as scheduled. BTW, it was a pain in the neck carrying that plastic bag all over town.

6:00 PM AR: I arrive at Buenos Aires International Airport and pick up my luggage. I proceed to the international terminal to check in at the United ticket counter for my 10:00 PM AR international flight. My scheduled trip home has a layover in Dulles (Washington DC), then catching a connecting flight to Seattle.

6:30 PM AR: After waiting in line, I finally reach the United ticket counter and am told my BA to Dulles flight is delayed 4 hours because a winter storm has hit the Eastern seaboard of the US. DC is snowed in. This is when my travels really get interesting.

6:33 PM AR: The following conversation (summarized) ensues:
The United Guy (UG): Uh oh. You'll miss your connecting flight in DC to Seattle. And since you have an award (frequent flyer miles) ticket, I can't assign you to a different airline to fly home.
ME: Ok, I can handle that. I'll catch the next United flight on standby.
UG: No, you can't fly standby. The flights are full for the next two days. I can only book you to DC, where you will need to purchase a ticket home to Seattle.
ME: Excuse me? First off, why can't I fly standby?
UG: The flights are full.
ME: Um, okaaay. So I need to purchase a ticket to Seattle? United can't find another way to get me home?
UG: That is correct.
ME: So let me get this straight. You are saying that I need to purchase a last minute (literally) ticket to Seattle 4 days before Christmas?
UG: Yes.
ME: (thinking to myself) WTF?!?

6:45-8:00 PM AR: I leave "helpful" UG and find an internet cafe. I attempt to purchase a ticket home from DC to Seattle (a steal at $680 US for a last minute biz class ticket). I click the on "Purchase Ticket" button. Error. $#&%!

8:10 PM AR: I go back to UG and have him book me to DC. I figured I could speak the language in DC and there are many more domestic flights options Stateside.

8:45 PM AR: I'm checked in, go through security, and settle into waiting for another 3-4 hours before boarding.

1:15 AM AR: I'm at the gate, and after mulling it over, decide to approach the United gate lady. The following conversation (summarized) ensues:
ME: Hi, I'm trying to get home to Seattle. I'm missing my connecting flight in DC due to the delay. Is there anything you can do to help me?
United Lady (UL): Well, the flights to Seattle are full until Christmas, but I can put you on standby for the 1:30pm EST flight.
ME: Really? Thank you! (thinking to myself) I'd like to smack United Guy aside the head. HARD.

11:00 AM EST: Touchdown in Dulles. Run to catch a shuttle to another terminal for immigration and customs. Time until Seattle flight boards- 1.5 hours.

11:30 AM EST: Through Immigration and Customs. Pick up luggage, running to the United Ticket counter to check my luggage for the standby flight. Starting to perspire a little bit. Time left to board- 1 hour.

11:45 AM EST: Arrive at the ticket counter, and am told that I am in the wrong line to check baggage. Plus, I only have 5 minutes left before they can't accept luggage anymore. I look over at the other line, and it would be a 30 minute wait. Sonuvabeech.

11:47 AM EST: My lowest yet proudest moment happens. I ask everybody in the other line if I can cut to the front. In a show of great grace and Christmas spirit, nobody objects. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

12:00 PM EST: Bags are checked. Running to security with my backpack and camera bag.
12:15 PM EST: Finally through security. Running to the shuttle to go to the another terminal. Again. Oh, I'm starting to sweat now. Time left to board- 15 minutes.
12:25 PM EST: Aboard the shuttle in between terminals when it stops for what seems like a decade to let a plane by. Time left- 5 minutes.
12:35 PM EST: Arrive at the gate, sweating profusely (which is pretty rare for me). Looking at the reader board, I am the third name on the standby list out of 15 or so people. I approach the counter, winded and sweaty, and give the gal my name. She then says the sweetest words I have heard in 48 hours. "Don't worry honey. You've got a seat on the flight." HALLELUJAH!

4:30 PM PST Loading the car with my luggage. I'm finally home. (A long, grateful sigh ensues.)
So there you have it. My travel horror story, with a happy Christmas ending. And after 37+ hours of traveling, I was home with my fanastic and much missed girlfriend, my brother visiting from Miami, and my new puppy Tucker. What a way to wrap up my Big 5Six trip.