Friday, March 23, 2012

Pushing Forward

I know it's March, nearly April in fact. The calendar just showed that we have changed from winter to spring. The cherry blossoms are blooming, and even the sunshine is making a showing. As usual, this is a marvelous thing here in Seattle.

The thing is, the season kinda feels like fall to me. The reason is that starting next week, I become a student again. After twelve years of being a working stiff, I'm sharpening my pencils, buying textbooks, and preparing for homework assignments. So "how did you get here?" you may be wondering.

Remember back in January when I told you about my resolution for the year? To "Push Forward"? Well, this is the direct result of that mantra. Around the same time I wrote that post, I was sniffing around graduate school programs. It's not the first time I had done so, but to be quite honest, I think this is the first time that my heart's really been prepared to go back to school.  So after careful consideration, I applied to Seattle University's evening MBA program. I have a variety of reasons of why I selected SU over another local program (*cough* University of Washington *cough*), but here are the main ones.

1.  I can start my program this spring quarter (like I said earlier, NEXT WEEK!) rather than waiting six months until the fall if I were to attend UW.
2. Seattle U is one of the top evening programs in the region, if not the country. (If I had done the UW program, I would have probably done the full time day program there.)
3. SU has terrific regional network and great contacts, which is fantastic for me since I want to stay in the Pacific NW area.

I've known for almost a month now that I was accepted into the program, but only in the past couple days has it really begun to sink in. Even after attending orientation, filling out financial aid forms, getting my school books (fortunately, there are textbook rental services nowadays because they cost twice as much as when I was an undergraduate), I didn't feel like I was going to school. But in the last 48 hours the excitement and nervousness has begun to seep in. Don't get me wrong-- I'm ready to get this party started. From speaking with other current and previous graduate students, I'm going to enjoy this time. But with it comes some nervous anticipation. This anticipation is very much like when I would begin a new consulting project. I know I have the abilities to succeed, but it's the ambiguity of the unknown that has me a bit twitchy. In a good way.

Some friends have asked me how I feel about going back to school. A couple personal observations so far:

1. I had actually applied to grad programs over five years ago. And I didn't get into any of the programs I had applied for. I was crushed. The entire episode left a bad taste in my mouth. It took me a long time to even consider going back to graduate school. In fact, it's still hard for me to think about that experience, let alone share it with others. But in hindsight, I'm really glad it didn't work out. I would have missed some of the best years and experiences of my life. I wouldn't have met Beth, volunteered on UPC's pastor nominating committee, gone to Antarctica and Africa, gotten Tucker, and spent the necessary time to discover what I want to do with my life. To put it in another way, I wouldn't be the person I am now. And I'm thankful to God for it.

1b. Along those lines, I also don't think I would have embraced graduate school back then the same way as I will now. Before, I was applying for schools because it was the "logical" next step in my career. Now, I want to go because I want to go. My heart's in it for the right reasons.

2. I know that I'm going to be a bit older than most my fellow classmates. I'm curious what affect, if any, that will have on the dynamic.

3. I was at the SU bookstore the other day, flipping through the clothing racks looking for a tshirt. Let me tell you, after buying purple and gold gear (Issaquah High and the UW) exclusively for over two decades, it was really weird to be shopping for red and black apparel. REALLY WEIRD.

I'm not really sure how to end this post. For me, this is just the beginning. It'll be interesting to see how I'm doing in a few weeks. And how I like school if I start working again. But regardless of my stress level, I know that I am where I am supposed to be. Who knows, you might see something like this showing up on my bumper soon.