"OK, What's Next?" - Jed Bartlett, The West Wing (played by Martin Sheen)

It's been an interesting few weeks. After returning from Africa, I craved to do something fulfilling and my job wasn't it. Call me an idealist, but I wanted my work to be meaningful. To impact something other than the bottom dollar. So I quit my job. Many would say that was impulsive, rash, stupid (especially in this down economy). And from a financial standpoint, they may be correct. BUT -- and I do mean a capitalized BUT -- it was the right thing to do. For all reasons other than money, I am the better for leaving.

Before I left for Tanzania, I posted here on my blog a reference to the movie City Slickers, expressing wanting to rediscover my "smile"...  In my search, I found what it meant to work hard and to be energized by it. I met and connected with people who I greatly respect, who are doing challenging work, and love it. I wiped away the cobwebs on my faith, and reconnected to my Jesus. The haziness of every day distractions disappeared, and clarity concerning my priorities re-emerged. In short, in a land far away, I found the very thing I was looking for..

So, now that my smile is back to where it belongs, how do I sustain it? How do I keep it from tarnishing, or worse, losing it again? The past few weeks have been spent trying to answer those very questions.  In honesty, there are portions of the exercise that are completely out of my comfort zone. A few examples:

1. Having no income. 
2. No clue how long this process will take.
3. Asking myself if I'm willing to start over in an entry level position if neccessary.
4. Can I shake the pride I have associated with what I've accomplished in my career so far?
5. Walking in faith, trying to follow the direction the Lord is leading me, and trusting that things will work out. 

I try to ignore the first two, and answer yes to the third and fourth, and live out the last. It's in this latter item that I've begun the process trying to identify, filter, and carve out the scope and end goal of finding my next role.

When I quit my job, I didn't have a plan. I didn't know how to tackle this huge question of "What's Next". But as I thought and prayed about it, I came up with the following three-pronged approach. I would network with people, independently research areas, jobs, items that were interesting and/or relevant to my search, and try to stay connected in discipleship. So far, this process is working. I've met with a variety of people who have imparted knowledge,  provided introductions to various network contacts, or recommend other areas to dive into. Taking those contacts and leads, I've researched what I could. And encompassing all of this, I am spending time in prayer and  Scripture to help lead and guide me down this path.

The process is long, and at times very slow. I am often impatient with the process, wanting to hurry and  "wrap things up". But deep down, I know I can't rush this. Otherwise, I'll have squandered this opportunity,  wasted my time and effort for instant, but short-term, gratification. So I will continue to work through this, with the hope that my efforts will be rewarded.

I'd like to wrap up my post by recommending an article I read earlier today by Harvard Business School professor Clayton M. Christensen. In response to a request from his students, he recommends applying some of the lessons taught in the classroom to their personal lives. Like Professor Christensen, I've decided that I don't want money to be my "yardstick" in which my life is judged. So I am taking a chance, and a step in faith, to change now while I can. Over the next few weeks/months, I'll try to revisit this process here on the blog, and update you with where I am...

Africa Pics are Available Now

Hi Everybody-

In case some of you might like to see more photographs from my Africa trip, here they are... there are three groups--

Selous Safari and Zanzibar: https://picasaweb.google.com/chanspence/AfricaSelousSafariZanzibar#
Mikumi Safari and Down Time: https://picasaweb.google.com/chanspence/AfricaMikumiSafariDownTime#
Camp photos: https://picasaweb.google.com/chanspence/AfricaYoungLifeCamps#

Obviously, the safari pics will have most of the animal pictures, but if you want to see a glimpse of the camps I volunteered for, take a look at the Camp photos.

Africa = Safari

For many people, the word "Safari" is synonymous with Africa. In fact, often the first question people ask me after learning that I went to Africa was “Did you go on Safari?”. Um yeah, of course I did! Matter of fact, I went twice!

Going on two safaris may seem like overkill – after all, once you’ve seen a giraffe, you’ve seen them all, right? (Sorry, an inside joke – one of the people I traveled with said this in jest on our trip.) What can be so interesting about the animals that you’d want to spend nearly a week in total seeing them? Well, let me tell you.

If you’re reading this blog, most likely you’re already aware that I am a photography nut. That alone makes going on safari fantastic. From a pure photography standpoint, you’re in a car/SUV/bus/vehicle searching for animals all day. And what do you do when you find them? You shoot them. Preferably with your camera. You can stay in the same location, watching the elephants graze, hippos sunbathe, and lions mate (our guide on the second safari called it a very “special” time for them) for long periods of time. And since you’ve come equipped with a large zoom lens and teleconverter, of course you’re going to snap some shots, right?
But aside from the photography portion of it, there is something very grounding about a safari. In addition to photography, I love nature. Being outside with the rolling clouds, the views unencumbered by human influence, the smells of the flowers on the breeze, animals in a natural habitat unrestrained by iron bars -- there’s a connection that I get have with this world and my God when I’m in nature. I hope that doesn’t sound too cheesy or new-agey, but being in the natural elements reminds me of the grandness and creativity and attention to minute details that only God can have. It’s awe-inspiring and humbling and life-giving all at the same time.

Ok, enough of my introspective, spiritual ramblings. Back to the topic of safaris. Like I said, I was fortunate to go on two safaris. The first was a 5 day, 4 night stay in the Selous Game Reserve. The second was a 3 day, two night stay in the Mikumi National Park. They shared a number of similarities, both providing a healthy dose of scenic beauty and animals galore, but they were unique in themselves as well.

Although we only saw three of the Big Five (lion, leopard, elephant, rhino and buffalo), there was still an abundance of wildlife to be seen. Between the two locations, here's sampling of what we saw: Lions, elephants, buffalo, wildebeests, impalas, wild dogs (very rare), warthogs, crocs, hippos, zebras, giraffes, birds of all sorts... I'm sure there are others too, but I can't recall at the moment.

The first safari was booked through a company called Afriroots. It’s one of the few Tanzanian owned safari companies (most are owned by European companies). Tende, our guide and co-owner of the company, is a friend of a friend and that’s how we got connected. A little plug: I highly recommend these guys – super-knowledgeable, very accommodating, and a great value for the money. Plus, Tende is a really good guy. We had a blast on the safari, and he was a huge reason for it.

The Selous Game Reserve is about the size of Switzerland, and a great place for safari for a couple reasons. One, the Selous requires a much more a traditional style safari, meaning that you track the animals… Vehicles are allowed to go just about anywhere, so if your guide sees something, he can investigate without needing to stay on main roads. The second reason is the park is pretty empty of tourists, especially compared to its better known northern siblings, the Serengeti or Ngorongoro Crater. (I’ve heard great things about those parks – it’s teaming with wildlife, so please don’t think I’m knocking them. It’s because they are so great that they’re so popular.) The Selous was deserted in comparison -- based upon what we saw, there may have been a total of 10 vehicles in the entire park. It made for a true safari feel; we were in the bush with nobody else about.

In the five days we were there, countless memories were made and numerous stories to tell. A few of my  favorites:
     - Being in the park after dark (not normally allowed), sitting by a campfire (started by sparking the car battery), and watching the moon rise.  
     - Speaking of the moon, on the third night, there was a full lunar eclipse... as soon as the moon went dark, the Milky Way and stars were in all their glory. As my companions would have said, "Unbelievable!".
     - Sitting in our Land Cruiser, surrounded by a herd of elephants, with no escape route...
     - Sunset on the first night, watching the hippos splash, snort and soak in the river.
     - Having bbq'ed impala from a sand barge in the middle of the river with cold beers, great friends, and a beautiful evening.

The second safari was also a great time, but different in a few ways. An obvious one was group demographics. The first safari was definitely was the kickin' with the boys. Beverages of all sorts were consumed and male bonding abundant.  Good times, good times. But instead of 5 guys in their early 30's, our second safari was composed of  14 gals and 4 guys of all ages. But regardless of age, the enthusiasm and excitement to see the wildlife was the same by all. One of the best things on this second safari was people watching. I loved watching my friends light up anytime they saw a new animal. Their faces would explode with big smiles, and even with occasional bits of giddy laughter. I wish I could have caught some of that on film...

The animal behavior between the two parks were a bit different as well. The animals in Mikumi were more accustomed to the constant barrage of tourists, and therefore less likely to flee at the sight or sound of any approaching Land Cruiser. For example, in the Selous, the best photograph of a zebra I could get was of its striped hindquarters as it galloped away. But in the Mikumi, the wildlife mostly chewed their grass, staring back at us, as if we were the subjects of their own human safari. Of course, for photography, this was ideal -- it's always easier when your subject is sitting pretty rather than running away.

I guess the lesson I learned from doing two safaris is this:  The bottom line is regardless of where you go, how much you spend, what you see and don't see, a safari is well worth the time and money. It's an amazing way to see natural beauty in both the landscape and the wildlife in Africa. And come to think of it, you can go on safari just about anywhere -- you don't need to be on a different continent to do it. Go on a hike. Go to the zoo. Go wherever you can submerge yourself in nature. You'll be all the better for it.

Playing Catch Up

So obviously over the past month, I haven't posted a daily blog of what I've been doing on my trip... Between the packed daily schedule and often non-existent internet connection, it wasn't possible. And since it's been forever since I last posted something here, I'm not going to even attempt to go back and post entries for each day. I just won't! (Imagine a little boy version of me throwing a tantrum right now.)

Tell you what I'll do instead. I think I'm going to post entries by category... Off the top of my head, here are a few that I may touch on over the next few posts-- safaris, camp, downtime, musings and revelations (aka miscellaneous).

In today's post, I'm going to share about some of our camp experiences. (If some of this sounds familiar, it's because I've pasted a bit from the entry I wrote for our team blog a couple weeks ago. But most of it's new.)

On this trip, eighteen of us came from various locations and backgrounds to volunteer for 2 weeks as a work crew for two Young Life Africa Tanzania camps. But before I go any further, let me provide some background for you -- If you're not familiar with Young Life, it is an international organization that develops relationships with kids, and sharing the Gospel and Love of Jesus Christ. In full disclosure, I am a product of the Young Life-- I was invited to Monday night "clubs" and camps back in high school. Club is weekly meeting filled with games, worship, and a short talk at the end.It's where the love of God was revealed to me, and where I began my own relationship with Jesus after my sophomore year. Two years later, I was on a Work Crew at Malibu Camp, British Columbia in the "Pits" (washing pots and pans from morning to night). I loved every minute of it.

Fast forward 15 years(!), and here I was again, volunteering to do work crew again. Aside from a few donations over the years, I haven't been involved with Young Life since high school. But since that summer at Malibu, I had a general idea of what to expect. Of course, one of those expectations was to expect the unexpected -- to be surprised and overwhelmed by whatever may happen.

Now that you're caught up on my YL history, I can fill you in on the happenings of the two individual and uniquely spectacular camps we were blessed to work at in Tanzania.

The first camp was the on the island of Zanzibar. A beautiful island off the eastern coast of Tanzania, it was the first YL camp to be held on the island. We had approximately 150 kids from various areas of the island come together for 3 days of camp. The second camp was more than double the size and back on the mainland, in a village 45 minutes east of Dar Es Salaam. Our work crew responsibilities fell into three divisions -- kitchen and dining, housekeeping, and the Outdoor Crew (yours truly was on the latter). The jobs were straight forward, and we knew what we wanted to do -- to provide a place that would rock the minds of the kids. Of course, in doing so, they would would rock ours as well...

Although the purpose is the same for the American and African Young Life camps, there are many, many differences that define the two. The first was the energy level of the campers. From the time the buses pull up to the camp to the final goodbyes waved through bus windows, the African kids were dancing, chanting, singing. Joy and passion filled the hours they were together. We were continually amazed by the excitement, comraderie and exuberance from the campers. Literally, almost every free minute the kids are chanting, dancing, singing.... Ben, one of our work crew members said that when he first saw examples of this during the welcome, it gave him a glimpse into what heaven will be like. People of different color and backgrounds coming together in celebration. It is a sight to see and behold!

The camp schedule has been packed to the brim for these campers. Between Club, Cabin Times, meals, and planned activities, it's a full couple days. The two largest events were the pitch-black nighttime obstacle course, and the mid-day field day. In the obstacle course, cabins were challenged to work together as a team to accomplish a series of tasks. Some examples were tying and untying a sandbag up a tree without climbing, human pyramids, or crawling under webbing in the dark, only to be surprisingly soaked by buckets of water. 

During the field day, cabins were merged to create multiple teams, once again working together to win relay-type races.  Friendly competition ensued on the field, composing of things like carrying each other while carrying plates of water to fill water bottles, team balloon races, transporting mouthfuls of very salty tang from cup to bottle... All of this done with the gaggle of cheers and laughter coming from their fellow team members.

Most importantly though, Club went great. The kids had two great program directors -- Bosco and Richard (aka "Woof Woof"). Their enthusiam and jovial spirits rivaled those of the kids they are entertaining. Finally, for the talks, we have a fantastic speaker in James. Although none of our work crew were fluent in Swahili, we could tell that the kids are enthralled with the message being shared. As Shirley (another crew member) said, the audience didin't fidget, whisper or goof off as would have been typical in an American camp. The campers were focused and attentive to what James has to share with them. So much that in the first camp, nearly a third of the kids stood up when asked if they accepted Jesus into their life. And in the second, nearly two-thirds did the same. It gives me chills just thinking about how much God was working in those camps (literally, you should feel the goose bumps on my arm right now). Don't forget that most of the kids, especially from the Zanzibar camp, come from Muslim families... By accepting Christ, they risk being ostracized and possibly exiled from their families and communities. Obviously, it's not a choice to be taken lightly. But then again, God isn't to be taken lightly either.

So there you go -- my first of a few delayed blog posts about my time in Africa. Much was experienced there -- too much in fact to share it all in writing. But I'll try to share the big things that were impactful to me over the course of the next few entries. Until then, "kwahali!" (goodbye!).

My Traveling Companion

B isn't able to join me on this latest adventure (she has her own to Belfast), but Rupert is certainly game. He's always willing to be stuffed in a pants pocket or in the depths of a bag as long as it takes him to exotic locales like Antarctica, Hawaii, or Wall Drug.

Hopes for My Trip

I'm sitting here at the terminal, killing time until my plane boards in 3 hours. So I thought I'd do a little test to see if I could write a post via my phone and upload it by email.

I've already flown 5 hours today, catching a red-eye from Seattle to Dulles. Now I'm waiting for a 14+ hour flight to the continent of Africa. I'll have another layover in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia before arriving at my end destination of Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania. Overall, it amounts to roughly 24 hours of travel time... The things I do to try to satisfy this travel bug of mine.

Once there, I get to spend three weeks in Tanzania and its island republic of Zanzibar. The first few days will be spent on safari, shooting animals... with my trusty camera. Then a quick hop over to Zanzibar for some beach time. The latter two weeks will be spent volunteering at a couple Young Life camps, playing with kids and building relationships.

On a deeper level, I know the camps will be energizing, especially in a spiritual aspect. But I'm also hoping that my time away from my regular life will help provide some clarity and direction of what's next in my life. I feel like I'm at a crossroads, and decisions need to be made, but my brain is so bogged down that I can't move. A mental paralysis of sorts.

I live a very charmed life, and have been blessed in many ways. But I often lose sight of that-- I see all the distractions, and lose focus of what's important. It reminds me of the movie "City Slickers"... Billy Crystal's character leaves on his annual trip with friends, struck in the rut of everyday life. But as the trip progresses, he begins to renew, and by the end of the movie, he "finds his smile" again. That's what I want-- to return home as a new and refreshed man.

So there you have it-- the thoughts of a man who's going on three hours sleep and an avenue to share them. Definitely not what I expected to write when I started this "test" post. But it's what I'm hoping for on this trip. That and great photographs to share with you all. :-)

My stylish childhood

I'm here at my folks house in Florida, and I found this picture of me... If you look closely, my first camera is beside me on the floor too. Thought I'd share it with you.

Shooting "Candidly"

Over the past few months, one of the areas of my photography I've tried to improve are candid photographs of people... At first, I started taking pictures of my friends' kids... It's always fun to try to capture their wonder and joy as they interact with their surroundings, whether it be toys, food, or other people.

Here are a few of the moments I've been able to capture on "film".

Some things I've learned along the way when taking photographs of kids.

1. Get "kid level" and stay low to the ground... try to see things from their vantange point.

2. It definitely helps if they know you and are comfortable with you... playing with them before the pictures always helps.

3. If possible, set your camera settings to high-continuous shutter... a fraction of a second can make the biggest difference in a shot.

Then there are the event candids that I have been working on. These have been much more difficult than I anticipated... I've been bringing my camera to more functions, trying to capture the spontaneous moments of people in conversation and activity. In many ways, I feel I am weakest in this type of shooting. More often than not, I depend too much on my zooms, and not enough on my feet. So although I can get a tight shot of the person/place/thing, the angle at which I'm taking the photograph is subpar. It's a lesson I continually need to tell myself - "MOVE YOUR FEET!".

My Parents' Parents

I had lunch with a friend from church a couple days ago. We served on the pastor nominating committee together for two years, and a friendship formed. Since he's retired and I have some free time right now, it made sense to grab a bite together and catch up. The time was well spent and I certainly enjoyed the company and the conversation. It's what you would consider a "cross-generational" friendship; he is more than twice my age. We obviously are in different stages of life, but it is those differences and experiences that make our friendship unique.

Our time over lunch reminded me of something related to this that's been on my mind recently -- my grandparents. I've lost each of them over the past three decades. Between the two sets, I knew my mother's parents better than I knew my dad's for a couple reasons. One, they lived near by our family, and second, my father's father (we called him "Yeh Yeh") passed away when I was five years old. But I knew each of them as well as a grandchild can know their grandparent I suppose. For that I am grateful.

Having said that, now that I'm older, I find myself wishing that they were still around so I could have gotten to know them better as an adult. I wish I could ask them the questions I didn't know to ask as a child. What it was like to grow up in China? What was it like to to have lived nearly a century ago? How did you two meet? What's been memorable about your life? Your biggest regret? What was my parent like? It's this that saddens me the most -- I have a million questions, and no possible way to get the answers to get to know them better. All that I have are the stories that are shared among family members, and the memories of childhood long ago.

I write this post not to dampen the mood, but as reminder to those of you out there who still have grandparents; if you haven't already, go and give them a call. Or a visit. And a hug. Maybe brew a pot of coffee and turn off the tv/computer/phone and chat for a while. My guess it will be well worth the time.

I would add more pics, but these were the only two I could find.

Two Weekends a Week

If you had two days each week for yourself, what would you do? Would you go hike a trail you've had your eye on all winter? Would you stay in bed and read until noon? Perhaps take a class or internship to learn something new?

As of two weeks ago, I've started living this very situation. The reason? Budget at work has been cut this year, which means less work for me. Less work for me means that I am working a part time schedule since I'm consultant/vendor, typically Tuesdays through Thursdays. And so far, it's been great.

Up until today, I've had activities for my days off. The first day was spent catching up on overdue home projects. Then last week, my roommate was on spring break, so he, his girlfriend, and I got to have not one, but TWO, Seattle days... The first was spent eating Philly cheesesteak, delivering lunch to B at work, and driving around the Mt. Baker and Genesse neighborhoods. Then on Friday, we enjoyed the deliciousness of Salumi sandwiches and then gazed upon the Seattle Photography Club exhibit at the Henry Art Gallery. Both these days, the sun was out, and we got a taste of Seattle spring. On a side note, B was very jealous of our field trips. I don't blame her.

But like I said earlier, today's the first day that I haven't had any formal plans set. So, being the Seattle-ite that I am, I'm kickin' it at a local Starbucks, watching the rain come down. I don't really know what to do with myself. I brought some reading material, I'm blogging (obviously), and surfing the web. It's almost like I have ADD, ACTIVITY deficit disorder (I know the "A" actually stands for attention).

I have been brainstorming a bit of what to do over the next few weeks. Here's the list so far... Hopefully I'll be able to combine some of them together too.

• Spend more time outdoors
• Shoot more photography and develop my post-production skills
• A related note-- decide on a new photography project to work on
• Be committed to writing once a week (I'm doubtful this will actually happen)
• Read

All in all, this is a wonderful thing really... I know that I'm living a charmed life. I also know I'm in the unique position here I can pursue things that interest me, without sacrificing time with B or work. I think the hardest aspect of this entire situation will be if and when I return to work full time. Will I be able to make the switch back?

What to do photographically in 2011?

The past few days here in Seattle have been beautiful. Cold, but beautiful. As I drive to work every morning, I've been going through the Arboretum. The sun coming through the trees, the waters of Lake Washington are still and partially frozen over -- it makes for some tranquil scenes to start the day.

It's been a nice break from the winter grayness, and the scenic morning displays have my creative juices moving again. I'm inspired to grab my camera, play hooky, and get outside to attempt to capture what I see and tranform it to a digital image. But alas, I'm bound by responsibility and instead elect to drive to the office and sit indoors for the duration of the day. By the time I get out, it's near dusk, and I'm occupied with other duties (walking the dog, making dinner, watching Top Chef).

But it has got me thinking -- what do I want to do this year to better my photography skills? What is a photography project I can start (and finish)? So as the days slowly get longer, I'm going to quickly run out of excuses not to go shoot. I guess I better come up with something soon. I've got a couple ideas kickin' around in the ol' noggin'. I think they need a bit more time to fully bake, but if and when I decide to move forward, I'll let you know. And of course, if you have any ideas for me, please send them my way. I'd love to see what you have to say!

A Resolution

Here it is, a new year.  The year 2011 has arrived, and just like that, twenty four days have gone by. In most ways, nothing much has changed. I'm still working, still living, and still trying to figure out what's to come... But I have made a decision to better myself this year.

Yep, I made a resolution. There, I said it. A resolution. I hate making resolutions. Probably because I always break them. But so far, I've been sticking to this one. Like millions of other people, I've made the decision to get into shape. I've committed to working out three days a week, and so far, so good. I actually made the decision to do so in early Dec, but I wanted to be realistic, and not try to set myself up for failure through the holidays. So right before we rang in the new year, I went and visited the local gym. And tell you what, I've been doing pretty well. I've realized that the hardest part of the workout is getting out of bed. But once I'm up, I'm on my way.

To help break the boredom barrier I often encounter with working out, I've downloaded a couple iPhone apps to help introduce some new exercises. It's been nice to break the cycle of the same 5 things all the time, and helped to keep me motivated. My hope is that I'll be able to start seeing some tangible results soon.

The thing is, I'm not just trying to get physically fit, but spiritually as well. Let me provide some background info.

In the past few days, I made the decisions to go and see my final continent. Yes, Africa is on my radar, and it looks like I'll be traveling there this June. It'll be a mixed purpose trip for me... the first few days I will be on safari in Tanzania, and then soaking in the sun on the beaches of Zanzibar. But the majority of my time in Africa will be spent working at a new Young Life camp in Zanzibar. Details are still scarce right now, so I don't know much right now.

Here's where my resolution comes in -- If you were to tell me I was leaving tomorrow, I wouldn't be ready. And I'm not talking about logistics. I don't think I'm spiritually prepared for the trip. In many ways, I'm out of "shape" for a trip like this. It's been years since I did a mission trip, and even longer working with Young Life. I'm not nervous per se -- rather, I just don't feel like I've prayed enough, studied enough, or known enough  for the missional aspect of the trip. So, I'm trying to start getting spiritually "in shape" for the work that we'll be doing in Zanzibar.

Don't get me wrong. I know regardless of whether I'm ready, the experience will be amazing. The people will be fantastic, the culture and the locale exciting, and that God's love will be in abundance. I have no doubt of any of that. I just want to make sure that I can be as prepared as I can be.

So here's to the hope that I will stay strong and continue my resolution through the year... Feel free to keep me accountable to it!